How to cheat the bank - part 1

How to cheat the bank? you may ask. We all want some extra gain when it comes to negotiating with the bank, because unconsciously we know that the bank will do everything she can to take money as much as she can from you. Firstly, in this case, when negotiating a contract take advice from an expert, a lawyer, an economist, or even your gut. If something doesn't seem fair, don't sign anything, and if the bank doesn't back off, start searching for another bank.
Secondly, don't wait to be surprised. I mean ask how you can receive and get the money you just borrowed. Some banks don't even give you the whole sum, or they give little by little at certain time, putting conditions on withdrawal as in who, when and how to access the credit. Always ask these things before, and demand that they are written on the credit contract.
Thirdly, don't think that you can do something outside the contract or illegal, because you may attract bank's penalties, other interests or fees, or even getting you sued, not to mention cutting you off completely from your account, or if the things get serious, cut you off from accounts at other banks or take your goods. They have an army of lawyers and computers to put you in your place.
Fourth, consider every situation that you may come to, now or in the future. You must be able to face any unpleasant situation like: getting fired, lower incomes, moving, other mortgages - anything that could alter your relationship with the bank. Once you thought it through, think again about what the banks has to say in those situations.

That's about it. Stay away from illegal activities with the bank, even if they are small.
Illegal means the usual taking without bank's consent. Do not think to rob it, or clone credit cards, forge contracts , money or checks. Do not use electronic devices, or viruses, or cloning web-pages, or even asking for someone else's personal information. They always catch up to the bad guys. Of course 10% of them are lucky and get away with it.
If you want to make a point in an argument with the bank and you are convinced that you are right, you can attempt suing the bank, or threat it with bad publicity or complains to consumer rights.